slighty ruined

We all have a few guilty pleasures. One of mine is the now-off-the-air series, Charmed. I don't keep up with it during the semester because I don't have the time or regularity of schedule to commit to a certain time each week. However, on my breaks, I enjoy catching up on it. I was discussing the show with a friend when she let slip a giant part of the finale. GIANT. And I specifically told her that I had not seen the last two seasons. It's so sad. I'm still a big fan and still watching, but it's just not the same. When I've blogged about movies or books in the past, I'm always very careful to either not include spoilers or to warn people. A bit of common courtesy is all I ask.

To Be Fat Like Me

I just watched To Be Fat Like Me on Lifetime. Now before the scoffing starts, it was not the typical romantic, you know the ending fifteen minutes in, comedy. It was a movie about a highschooler who makes a documentary about obesity. She's the thin jock type and dresses as an obese girl for summer school. I guess I felt a connection to this movie since I was one of the 'fat kids' in high school. It brought up so many good points, but I think perhaps my favorite was one suggestion as to why people discriminate against obese individuals. "Anybody can be fat." You cannot change your ethnicity or age (time not withstanding), but anyone can gain weight, especially in today's sedentary society. The movie made me recall the other day when I was shopping. An overweight women dropped the armload of things she was carrying. Like I would for anyone, I stopped to help her pick them up. That wasn't the unusual thing, though. It was her gratitude that caught my attention. Most people will say thanks, and though they mean it, it's a passing thanks. No big deal since it's something small. But she seemed so grateful that someone actually helped her. It was like the dogs at the SPCA that were used to being beaten rather than pet.

There are many things in this society that I dispise, and unintentional prejudices are high on that list. We are so judgemental without evening meaning to be. And I'm not excluding myself from this assessment. It's disgusting. I was showing my aunt pictures of my friends and her first comment was, "Why do you have so many dikey looking friends?" I couldn't believe her. I'm fairly certain my mouth was even open while I stared. The scary thing is that she has friends, family even, of every sexual orientation, but that was still on the tip of her tongue. I've made mental comments regarding a person's appearance before, we all have. But if those of us who are not bothered by "different" think derogatory thoughts, what are less open individuals thinking. I wish I had the answers.

A month for winter break is a bit excessive.

I love my family, and I love spending time with them. That said, "home" isn't home anymore. I've come to firmly believe that a month off between semesters is just too long to spend with the family. I'm just not as comfortable here as I am in my own apartment. The 'adults' don't quite accept that I've reached the point where I have to be allowed to go your my way. Not only that, but a month without a car, when I'm used to being able to get up and go at the drop of the hat, is causing a terrible case of stir-crazy. Compiled with that is the bone-jarring halt to my general pace of life. At school, I have 18-20 -hour days. I get up, have classes, meetings with professors or faculty, interviews, organizational meetings, study groups, and homework to keep me ridiculously busy. During break, on the other hand, I don't really have anything to keep me occupied. This is fantastic for the first week. I enjoy the ability to indulge in some slothful behavior, curl up with books for hours on end, and watch bad, yet entertaining, movies. Now, I want to be active. And I think I'm slowly going insane. I'm tired of working on someone else's schedule. I think this is the last month long break I'll be taking. I know it's the last month long winter break I'll have. You don't get that much time in graduate school. Now I just have to think of a way to avoid spending all summer here. Good thing that many programs let you start over the summer.

Please don't misinterpret this post. Don't think that I'm having a truly miserable time. I've had a lot of fun, but this much time without being productive is tough.

New Blog

Hello Readers, whoever you may be. Though this is not my first online journal, it is my first anonymous journal. I'm tired of editing my thoughts for fear of offending. And in a world where employers look up people's internet lives, it just too hard to judge the long term impact of one's words. This will be my thoughts/relections/rantings/updates true as I see them. Names will be changed, but only so that I can speak candidly with little fear of revealing myself. Part of that is reflected in the title of this thing. Rhapsody is a leading character in a trilogy by Elizabeth Haydon (amazing books by the way). In this series, she is a Namer- a person who though skill of song and power of voice reports the truth as it is witnessed. Through this, she can change what is. I like that thought and believe in the power of words, whether written or spoken. Disclaimer: I am not saying that my little journal will have any effect on anyone, except perhaps me and allowing me to hold on to my sanity a wee bit longer.

I've yet to decide, but this may become part of a little self-improvement project of mine. I am horribly uninformed due to the combined effect of living in the bubble of a large university, personal apathy, and a lack of time to get/stay up-to-date. Furthermore, being so completely out of the loop makes it exceedingly difficult to get caught up. However, I find this as appalling as you all do, so in an effort to broaden my horizons, I'm going to read Newsweek. A weekly publication seems like a good stepping stone to reality, and I know that I do not have the time to realistically try to read the newspaper each day. This endeavor my not begin until winter break has concluded because my access to the store is rather limited, but we shall see.